Its been a rough few months to say the least. Lots of shaking down of old paradigms, the crumbling of foundations and the dissolving of falsehoods. I had been grasping at straws when it came to the catalyst I was missing in my Dharma practice. There were periods of stability and calm intermixed with extremes, low and high. I felt the best when I was at a teaching.
I was looking for some information on offerings and this is what hit me like a lead anvil:
"And then Lama Tsong Khapa asked Manjushri what is the quickest way to attain Enlightenment, and Manjushri answered that it was necessary to create the necessary conditions for Enlightenment:
- To collect merit by making offerings such as the Mandala Offering, [Water Bowl Offerings]
- To purify obstacles in order to have realizations e.g. by doing the Vajrasattva Practice
- To gain the blessings of the holy guru by one pointedly asking for blessings from the guru.
- To do the various Practices as advised by the guru."
Just within the last few months, I have received teachings from Za Choeje Rinpoche on Medicine Buddha, Vajrasattva and the 8 Verses of Mind Transformation (still continuing). I was frustrated with what was going on internally. I could tell that something was just not right--that there were some obstructions on many levels. My practice had been all over the place with nothing consistent.
The kind dakini that likes to drop hints and subtle clues said that I wasn't following instructions. This confused me for a little bit and I had to really meditate on this one. I don't mean I sat on cushion and worked this through but it was something to chew on and hopefully when it digested, the realization would come.
I examined the teachings that I had been given over the years since I had taken refuge with Rinpoche. Instead of looking for some new teachings or seeking new experiences, I decided to focus what was already in my Dharma tool box. I've gathered plenty of books, some I haven't read yet. The wisdom is there to be studied but I have no method. The awareness came that I needed to put into action what I had been given.
Something profound happened when I was given the Amitayus Long Life empowerment by Za Choeje Rinpoche. I didn't 'see' Rinpoche up there on the throne. In my heart, I knew that we were within the mandala of Guru Amitayus. When Rinpoche gave teachings on the Medicine Buddha, I felt the presence of the Buddha, the Guru on the teaching throne. When Guru Amitayus arrived, I experienced the presence. Totally transformative.
After plodding along on MY own path, I was tired. More than tired, I was spiritually exhausted. Broken down, I surrendered myself to Guru Amitayus, who is the sambhogakaya form of Amitabha Buddha. Rinpoche also gave the oral transmission of 'The Sutra of Boundless Life and Wisdom' and the Amitayus mantras. This sutra is one of my favorites. I would print out copies to generate merit but I never got around to reciting the mantra. After the empowerment, I memorized the long mantra and I recite the sutra daily, either portions with the mantra recitation or the entire sutra. Since I received teachings from the Guru, I decided that it would be a good time to dedicate myself to one thing at a time.
The other important part of this situation was getting to the Vajrasattva purification practices, like meditating on the 4 Opponent Powers. Merit creation is in place by reciting 'The Sutra of Boundless Life and Wisdom' and making water bowl offerings. Vajrasattva mantra collection in place. I'm putting the Guru's teaching in motion by reciting the texts I've been given, such as The Heart Sutra.
Putting these suggestions into play really worked out. For the past few days, I feel more centered. I think reciting the Heart Sutra helps with that. I also recite 'The Foundation to All Good Qualities' as well. With the teachings on the '8 Verses of Though Transformation' I can add that to the list for bodhicitta inspiration.
And, of course, dedicate the merits to all sentient beings.
A new start for the new year.
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