Impatience
Dark anticipation of control,
Sighing and rolling of eyes,
Lead to flashes of anger and destruction.
Correct an avoidable mistake.
-GK Sandoval
Things are not happening fast enough for you or people don't meet your expectations--that all leads to disappointment and frustration. The end result is a dissatisfaction which builds and builds. This dissatisfaction quickens the anger response in a closed loop of negativity. The weight and inertia of this energy is so great that it stays in motion and takes quite an effort to halt the destructive cycle.
With Dharma practice, that effort could take many years, many lifetimes of consistent attention and focus. This is a realization that I'm trying to assimilate because it goes against all the cultural and conditioning of western society. The modern world moves so quickly. There is no love for a slow organic process. Things have to stimulated and blown out of proportion. Bigger and bigger still is the daily affirmation of the West. We all want things immediately and with little or no effort.
Defuse Impatience by being practical and realistic.
Be grounded. That's my affirmation for this year's teachings with Za Choeje Rinpoche. Sometimes I'm so far off in the clouds that I lose myself in abstraction. I want to be more focused, so I decided to strip away all the practices that I think I should be doing and actually put into action the teachings I've already been given, like committing to reciting texts that I have the oral transmission for, like Lama Tsongkhapa's 'The Foundation of All Good Qualities.'
Its time that I learn to do a few things well instead of trying to master everything immediately. Because what I lack is practical experience of what I've read and studied. Plenty of talk but very little action. That has to change if any measurable change is to take place.
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